Give a Little

24 Apr

I’ve left college to come home. One of the saddest weeks I’ve experienced! I keep reliving the last days and thinking I took those for granted. I’ve met the greatest people, and every single one of them has changed my life. I’m not kidding. Who knew there were so many great people! Especially at the immature ages of 19 and 20. But they all know that I love them, and if they don’t…well now you do 🙂 Now I’m home to find more people to love and start friendships with.

Today I spent all day with Meredith. She’s one of the most energized and talkative people I’ve met! Never a dull moment. As we went to the coffee shop to get our sandwiches, she supported me as I looked ridiculous because I had no idea what the cashier said. Aside from his accent, he mumbled a little too much…Meredith didn’t translate for me, she laughed at me. That’s what a true friend is for. She then sat on my bed as I unpacked for a good 3 hours, telling me all about her men. She’s quite popular with the boys, and she knows how to keep them on their feet. (I’m taking notes). Afterwards we drove Annie to ballet, driving Annie crazy, because at this point we were both hyper and we wouldn’t shut up. The drive home we tried listening to some rap, which the rap Texas plays is totally different than regular rap, and we decided we were the whitest girls. As we went to pick Annie up, we decided to call the radio station and request only the greatest song “Call Me Maybe”…and they answered! Meredith had a great 3 minute conversation with the dj and that was it. 5 minutes later they played the conversation on the radio. We were freaking out…it was so great! Ah how the little things excite us so much!

Tomorrow I have a job interview or two and then it’s back to play date with Meredith. We are such great friends already, but she’s leaving me in 2 weeks to go to Provo. So here is my plea. My plea for her to stay until August. Even though I know there is no possibility, it’s worth a shot.

This summer isn’t going to suck. It’s going to be great, but you have to find those people in your life to get you through it. It’s ok to be dependent on others in times like these. When you’re away from your best friends, you can make new friends, but no one can replace another. It makes your heart grow a little more with each person introduced into your life. And I’m just now realizing this after plenty of moves. It doesn’t get easier, but it’s worth the awkwardness and the timid times. Sooner or later you’ll have new friends that can handle that weird quirkiness.

xoxo

Tell Me Don’t Give UP. Tell Me There’s Someone Out There.

2 Apr

This semester is almost over and it has flown by so fast! Though I won’t complain about last semester, this semester was by far my most favorite. I met so many interesting and fun people! The list could go on and on. But what makes each of these people important, is the effect that they have had in my life. Whether it’s a small life lesson, a crush, someone I’m interested in, or just new friends, they have given me so many great memories.

The way that they have been such a blessing in my life is different than those that I have met while moving. When I was moving, while growing up, it was important to make friends. They kept me happy, and I depended a lot on them. They made each move a little easier. And then once I moved, I didn’t really keep in contact with them. I was okay with that, because I knew I would make new friends wherever I moved. I liked to think of them as “temporary friends” and there was absolutely nothing wrong with that in any way. As much as I wanted to live the typical high school life that I saw on t.v., I knew that it wasn’t possible, and after a lot of inner conflict with myself about it, I finally accepted it. Now the people that I have met here in college… I feel as if I’ve known some of them my whole life. They are so important to me and I’m thankful for every one of them.

I’ve learned that I can’t depend on them for my own happiness, I have to find that within myself. And I feel like I’ve accomplished that. I haven’t been this happy in almost a year. I had to let my walls down with some and force myself to relax, and once I did, those happened to be one of the most memorable. So many people have brought me happiness as well, and I feel like I owe them something that is as special to them as they are to me. I’ve realized the importance of friendships and going through the motions.

I have fallen in love with life and it’s the greatest feeling one could have. Everything that goes on is just so miraculous and beautiful. Everyone has their story and they experience a whole different life than you and I do. That’s what’s so neat. And for one to share their story and become a part of my life, is honestly the greatest honor.

xoxo

Miscommunication

8 Mar

One day I needed to find the Accessibility Learning Center room. All I knew was that I was going to take a test on testing anxiety and it was found in the Disability Room. I was completely clueless as to where this place could be located. So I decided I would go to the front desk of the building and ask the front desk receptionist where this room could be located. As I walked up, I thought of the question I was going to ask and I felt very confident in the wording.

“Hi, I’m trying to find the Disability room.”

The receptionist gives me a weird look..so I ask again.

“Ya, I know, all I know is that I’m supposed to go take a test in the Disability Room.”

She replies, “Oh ok! I know where that is. You’re going to go to the Cafeteria and go behind Subway. Behind there you will find a hallway. Walk down that until you get the first hallway on your right. You will go to the end of that hallway and it will will be the last door on your left.”

I do exactly as she says and when I round the corner I find myself looking at the “Disability Restroom”

Thank you for sending me to the disability restroom, that’s exactly what I needed. (:

Let’s State the Flaws

12 Feb

Dating in college has really been interesting. I think I’ve had more weird dates in these first two semesters than people have in their lifetime. Because I never dated growing up, this whole thing has been one of the weirder/ extraordinary experiences. I’ve met so many characters, I wish I could write a book on each of them. Well that sounded creepy…so I’ll go with I wish I could write a book on each date that I’ve been on.

Some girls have found their better half this year already, and I’m happy for them. That’s great! But I’ve come to realize that I’m figuring out what I want before I can look for that special someone. Last semester I was all about having a guy in my life, and wanting a boyfriend. I wasn’t ready for that in any way. This semester I’ve come to realize that at this point in my life, serious anything just blows. Let me tell you how to figure out what you want with a guy.

Here is my guide to figuring out if he is good for you or not.

Step 1: Start off with a cute/ catchy introduction. Nothing like “Hi, I’m Lexi.” But something more like “Ay! I’m Lexi, but you can just call me Sexy Lexi.” Classy? Nope…but if they laugh, that’s progress.

Step 2: Exchange numbers or do some major Facebook creeping. I personally find the Facebook creeping has been more helpful…I’ve never exchanged my number in person before. (Kidding…but seriously…) Plus Facebook tells you everything you need to know…if you find the guy is in a civil union with his roommate..that’s not cute, it’s weird. So dump that boy’s butt before he can dump yours, even if y’all haven’t gone on a first date.

Step 3: THE MOST IMPORTANT!! Once you get in the car and you are on your way to the first date destination, state everything that is wrong with you. Tell him all your nasty habits, your weird corks, all the bad reputations you’ve had. Trust me, it saves a lot of time. BE SURE TO SAY ALL THE WRONG THINGS!!

After these crucial first 3 steps there are a few options: 1. If he stays with you, don’t think he is a keeper…he’ll keep you around  until he finds better. 2. If he flips the car around and takes you straight back, then you realize he wasn’t the one for you. You’re better off without him.

This step by step will get you far. I don’t guarantee happiness Remember that through it all, a good person can take a lot of hits from heartaches and heartbreaks. It builds you as a person.  So here is a shout out to all you lovely ladies that don’t have a boyfriend, consider yourself lucky. You are the happiest that you’ll be!

God’s Message

8 Feb

One night as I was reflecting on everything I found myself in tears. I had no reason to be sad, but the feeling of insecurities, loneliness, and regret filled my heart. I didn’t know who to turn to, because  no one would understand what I meant. I didn’t have a reason for these feelings, they just overcame me. I turned to the only person I knew would listen, knowing exactly what to do. I turned to God. I told him what I felt like I needed; comfort. It wasn’t a hug, or words that I asked for, it was just the feeling of comfort. I fell asleep to the lyrics of a song that happened to be on:

Don’t give up

It’s just the weight of the world

When your heart’s heavy
I…I will lift it for youDon’t give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I…I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don’t give up
Because you are loved

Don’t give up
It’s just the hurt that you hide
When you’re lost inside
I…I will be there to find you

Don’t give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I…I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don’t give up
Because you are loved

You are loved
Don’t give up
It’s just the weight of the world
Don’t give up
Every one needs to be heard
You are loved

I knew those words could bring comfort and strength, which they did, but there was a part of me that still felt helpless. When I awoke the next morning I had a text from a dear friend. We hadn’t talked in a week and it was just random. I realized that he was leaving for his mission and that was the last message he would send me. It read:
❤ Don’t forget you’re amazing.
I knew that God had answered my heart’s cry. I know that he looks out for each and everyone of us. It was a message from my friend, but I believe it was also from my Father in Heaven. He loves each and everyone of us. We must never forget that. We must always remember that through everything, God is there for us, when we feel like no one else is. He loves us. He works in the most mysterious ways, but that’s the confirmation of his love for his children.

Life afterwards…

3 Feb

Click the link below…

 

Freedom

Orange Ya Glad…

2 Feb

It was my first night to hang out with Natasha, an old friend from way back when. We had plans to go to Sammys and she then invited me to go tanning with her. Of course I wasn’t going to pass up that opportunity…I’m a girl, I need some color. But I couldn’t do this without my dear friend Keaton. Keaton is a Haitian, dark skinned, tennis player. He is like a little brother and I need him there for moral support, like I am there for him at his matches. When we arrived at the tanning salon, we got there right as it was closing. Because we had coupons that expired that day, they let us stay anyway. Oh and did I mention it was a spray tan?

The woman was getting us set up when she turned to us and asked “so is it all three of you guys getting a spra….ohhhh. Nevermind…” We all just laughed because we all knew that she realized she was asking Keaton if he wanted a spray tan. After Natasha had her tan done, it was my turn. Both of the girls working agreed that I should get the medium, so it would be noticeable. I don’t think they realized I was as white as I was. I’m like a porcelain doll…is that not obvious?  I had never done this before in my life, and I had no idea what to expect. The uncomfortableness from the small machine and the toxic fumes was not something I’d like to never experience again. After I got out I expected immediate results. They then informed me in ten hours that my  tan would show up. They reminded me multiple times “do NOT shower until your 24 hour wait is up.” So I was set to go with my invisible tan!

When I awoke this morning I hopped out of bed to check out my new tan. There I was…sleepy eyed and orange. I flipped on the light to get a better look…yep, the orange was definitely there. I had no idea what to do! So despite what the girls at the tanning salon said, because their judgements didn’t seem to be reliable,  I hopped in the shower and scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed. I think I did a pretty darn good job, because I no longer look as orange, but I definitely have an orange tint.

I have learned my lesson. Spray tans are not for this gal. I also learned that beauty shouldn’t be considered something you get from a machine. Beauty is where your heart lies. And my heart definitely doesn’t lie at a tanning salon….or a spray tan machine for that matter…

 

My Teenage Dream

31 Jan

Most all girls’ dream is to be noticed by Prince Charming and to live a happily ever after. I agree with that dream. I want that for myself, but that is looking too far into the future. My teenage dream is to be noticed by a hipster…is that too mainstream?

I don’t know how to explain this weird obsession or dream of mine, but the whole attitude that these kids carry just makes them so adorable. The boys walk with so much confidence, it should be a turn off, but it has the opposite effect. You can’t help yourself. You literally just stop and stare (don’t mind the drool) and you think to yourself “where do these guys come from?” It’s like they are literally just off the rocks. They wear the most ridiculous clothes and they don’t follow the social norm. But I think that’s where they have me hooked. They are ok with their differences and they make it look like it’s ok, but only they can pull it off. I refuse to let myself fall into the “Hipster attire” because it will only turn out to be a train wreck. They make life look so intriguing and so fun! They don’t even have to be doing anything except be in a picture and you find yourself wishing that you could just be there with them.

When we see them at the local dance parties they are literally off in their own world. I don’t even think they are even aware of where they are. But that’s just it. How could they be in a room FULL of people yet still keep to themselves and not even notice who is around them?! Kate and I danced by one for at least twenty minutes. We didn’t even get an acknowledgement even though we were face to face, starring deep into his eyes. How is that possible?! We will never know…but it’s amazing!

The best time of the day is dinner time. We will sit at our table for at least an hour and just watch how the hipsters interact with one another and the normal people. They usually don’t interact with the normal people, but when they interact with another hipster it is the cutest thing! They walk together in a pack and never leave each other’s side unless it is to fill up their glass. They dare to do things out of the norm and that’s what makes them who they are. It makes them clever and interesting. No one judges them because that’s who they are. They are the one group that can never be judged because whatever action they do won’t be normal. They make the little things in life enticing and exciting. They spunk up their own lives in the weirdest yet most attractive ways.

I won’t be at peace until I get my one on one time for a few seconds with one of the hipsters. A girl can dream, can’t she?

Crazy Love Story

28 Jan

After my love life not working out, I’ve decided to help out my friends. Good idea? Maybe not this time…

I met *Jack* at a dance one weekend, and he was so charming. He knew how to be sweet and genuine, yet still act like a tough guy  which was totally hott! He was from a city two hours away, yet the very next day he made it to College town to visit me. I thought for sure he was going to be a keeper. I was so excited! Until I actually went out with him. We went to the Canyon and all he wanted to do was kiss. He was all about the physical attraction and himself. It was disturbing and a total turn off. Once I was back at my apartments he got out and started swing dancing with me so every girl could see how charming he was. My emotions were a bit confused for a second and then I reminded myself of the awful time I had to endure with him. I told myself this was the last time I was going to see him.

Two weeks later…I get a call at 5 in the afternoon. He is on his way down to see me. What?!

Thank goodness I was sick this weekend and Kate was willing to hang out with the both of us in the lobby. He put his arm around me but talked about how disgusting it was that I had cold sores and refused any physical contact (#winning). Of course he was talking about himself, but he mentioned he was into Australians. I texted my dear innocent friend, Alice (who has the most amazing FAKE Australian accent) to come talk to him. He was stuttering and loosing his words every time Alice would say something. It was hilarious, yet adorable at the same time. Finally he said “I…i…i…I gosh, I just can’t help myself. Do you want to go out later tonight when my buddy gets off work?” Alice said “Yea! (In an australian accent).

So later that night they went out on a date. She had to fake an accent the whole time, but it’s easy for her to do it without thinking. She did talk in her normal voice, being herself for a second, and *Jack* and his friend did say “That’s pretty good, but you should stick with the accent.” Hahaha!! She had a lot of fun with him and his friends. They did kiss and flirt a whole bunch. He even asked her if he transfered to our school if she would date him!! He asked her to go to breakfast the next morning…things seem to be moving fast.  We will see where this leads…

I’ll keep you updated, but I think this has to be my favorite love story !!

Being Real

18 Jan

Growing up, I’ve watched all the Disney Princess movies. I’ve seen all the Hollywood movies. I’ve seen every movie (not really, but just go with it) and found myself wishing I could have a life that had the best friends, the romance, the adventures, and the stories to share. I have to laugh now, because there is no way that I would think of myself as an interesting character…until now. Some people see me as crazy. Some see me as quiet and timid. Let me tell you who the real Lexi is, starting from the beginning.

I was born in El Paso, Texas and spent four years there. I remember my three best friends: Megan, Casey, and Mckelle. I remember going to Joy School with Casey and we spent our school days taunting a girl that had a frog voice (like the kid from Little Rascals). One day she went crying to Casey’s mother saying “Casey and Lexi said they were going to kick my butt.” I guess you could say, we were a little exclusive. Casey and I also locked the mothers’ out of the house and the only way to get to us was having Casey’s mom climb through the doggy door. We started off as trouble makers. My favorite place was Chuck-e-Cheese! I spent my fourth birthday there and I remember getting a ton of barbies. Casey gave me some Disney Princess underwear, and I was never able to put it on right. My first four years were fun and a growing experience from what I can tell.

The move to Canada:

I started taking ballet lessons, but learning to skip was as far as I got before quitting. I guess you could say that’s when my tom boy stage hit. I started taking ice skating lessons and spent my days with my true love Ashton Bachmann. We would go to the park and play. I made new friends every time I took a trip there. I was the outgoing tom boy who was head over heels in love with Ashton…at the crazy age of 5.

The move to Oregon:

I would wake every morning at 6:00 to play with my grandparent’s cats in the laundry room. Even though one cat in particular would attack me whenever I tried to play with him, that didn’t bother me. I met my best friends Hannah and Connor while living in Oregon for six months. Hannah and I always wanted my older sister and her older brother to marry. I became close to the Deans. Marlo, the father, raised chickens so I referred to him as Chickenhead (still do to this day) and he called me his girlfriend (and still tells people I am). Being a helpless romantic Malia and I performed a wedding ceremony for the neighbor’s dogs (even though I’m sure they were both boys). I was always outside. Whether it was running over to flirt with the neighbor boys (who were 10 years older than me) or running up the grassy hillside, I was content with the life and the adventures I was having at age six.

The move to Finland:

The first day we were in our new apartment I made fun of the neighbor boy and made him cry. Mom made me take a sucker over to his house and apologize. I was home schooled because they didn’t have Kindergarten so Annie and I would spend hours in our bedroom playing “characters”, dressing up, or hitting on the missionaries. Annie and I felt left out because we couldn’t speak Finnish and we didn’t understand the sophisticated English that mom, dad, and Karly spoke, so we made up our own language called “Kutsa”. It drove everyone insane, because they had no idea what was being said but Annie and I legitimately understood each other.  I would spend hours on the Nintendo 64, preparing myself to play dad and beat him at any game. I had a dear friend named Jouni. Now Jouni didn’t speak a word of English and I didn’t speak Finnish so we would sit in front of the t.v. playing video games without a word being said. I would sleep over at his house ( a loft in the barn ) and wake every morning to milk the goats. One day we decided to take and adventure and we got lost. We didn’t understand each other so we sat in the woods for a long while before his Grandpa found us. When I wasn’t with Jouni, I was at home creating, learning, and having a good time. I would sit and watch out the window that looked out the Harbor while drunk men and women were arrested during the summer nights. I would go to Elvis (Elle-V) house and eat all the chocolate she had to offer because she was allergic. I would spend hours outside in the snow or challenging the climbing bar at “Kissing Park.”  I was a fearless 6 year old that could take on the world.

The move to Utah:

I met my best friend…Chelsea. My puppy. We did everything together even though she scared the living crap out of me. She was twice my size at the age of 6 months! I would take her for walks everyday and come back home in tears because she would drag me along the sidewalk for most of the walk. My bloody knees and ripped jeans were proof of this. I was picked on by some boys that were a year younger than me so I would take Chelsea on a leash to the front yard and we would sit there and watch the boys as they walked by. Every time they caught a glimpse of Chels, they would hurry across the street and keep an eye on her at all times ( making sure she wasn’t coming for them ). I learned the piano and ukelele, played soccer, clogged,  and played basketball…while keeping straight A’s.  I was Lexi…the girl that could accomplish anything without letting people get to her.

Move to Kansas:

I fell in love with my best friend’s older brother. My hair turned insanely curly, yet I didn’t want mom to touch my hair ( so I looked like a boy, no joke ). I played basketball, receiving my first black eye from getting elbowed in the eye and then fouling out for pushing the girl back. Wasn’t my fault, I couldn’t see within 30 seconds of being elbowed. Megan, my best friend, and I went to movies, shopped, played soccer, and splashed in the grossest ponds we could find. Nothing could separate our friendship. These were the years of hope, joy, happiness, and love.

Move to Utah:

I learned a lot about myself during the time spent in Utah during this time. I had a prank war going on with the neighbor boys , as we constantly ambushed each others’ houses and destroyed the yards. They were the guys with capes, and I was the blonde hair, brace face girl across the street. I became close with my dear friend Madi and we shared many laughs, stories, inside jokes, tears, and drama with one another. I made the Jr. High basketball team and those were the best winters of my life. I couldn’t believe that my hard work had payed off. These were the years of finding myself, wallowing, self achievement, and struggles.

Move to Arkansas:

The roughest move I’ve had to experience yet. But I don’t regret a day I spent there. My mom helped start a cross country team so I could compete my sophmore and junior year. Placing in state: 10th place the first year and 3rd place the next, I found myself excelling in something I thoroughly enjoyed. Homecoming court. Prom my sophmore and junior year.  Summer boating trips with the family. Experiencing the South with what it had to offer. I didn’t have very many friends my Junior year and I found myself hanging out at Heather’s house with her and her kids. Annie became my best friend. My mom and I became closer. I felt lots of love in my  home and enjoyed just being with the family. These were the years of becoming Lexi, close relationships with family, and figuring out what I wanted in life.

Move to Louisiana:

My favorite place by far. I spent my days going to school for half a day and then working the last half. The job at Great Harvest was the best first job. I met so many interesting people and fell in love with the culture. I experience Mardi Gras. I experienced the Cajun lifestyle. I experienced life. I didn’t have any close friends, but I had Annie. And I think that’s how we made it through those 8 months in Louisiana. We would go to Raising Canes every Monday after school. Pedicures and Manicures became a recent activity. Boys became a big part of our lives. (haha). Mom and I became the best of friends. Sushi was our favorite food whether it came from Rouses or a fancy restaurant. She did everything to make sure that our family had a good experience there. We were so happy there. This was the year that I found true happiness, I found my best friends (my family), and figured out who the real Lexi is.

Now I’m in college having a good time. But there are so many sides to me, some people can’t put their finger on it, so let me help you out. The real Lexi isn’t complex. The real Lexi is happy. That’s all you have to know. I try to put others first and I want to help everyone around me so they have a good life and have a great experience. I feel like I cheated life, because I couldn’t think of a better way to live my life. I’ve had so many opportunities and experiences, I want everyone else around me to have that too. If I were to die, I would be satisfied with the life that I have lived. I feel confident to say that I have lived the best life that I could.